Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Weddings Brings Back The Love For Divorced Parents




Dealing with divorced parent in a wedding can be tricky and complicated. While coping with the situation will be stressful particularly for the brides, having a beautiful wedding despite having divorced parents is never impossible.





Divorced parents of the bride or groom should participate in the wedding ceremony. In addition, they also to the rehearsal dinner even if they will likely act horribly. Not inviting the parents will create more trouble. The parents may or may not have to host the rehearsal dinner, which is supposedly one of the most relaxing portions of the wedding process.





Indicating in an Invitation





- The name of the mother is the first written then followed by the father. The word “AND” cannot be used between the names.





- The names of the mother and stepfather can be written in the invitation if the father has not been involved in the life of the bride or groom since she/he was a baby.





- The individuals whose names are appearing on the invites do not have to be always the ones paying for the wedding despite popular belief.





Sharing in costs





The couple should consider opening a checking account that will solely contain expenses for the wedding. The divorced parents should be asked on how much they can contribute. It is advisable to ask a check for a lump sum that will be deposited to the wedding account in order to make the money easily accessible whenever it is needed.





Seating arrangement





If the divorced parents are not speaking with each other, it is advisable that the two should be seated apart from the each other. One of them might be attending with someone the other parent cannot be comfortable with. Etiquette dictates that mother and stepfather occupy the first row, while father and stepmother sit on the second row.





However, the divorced parents can be seated with each other if they are on good terms but will likely have to stay in different areas during the reception.





No families are the same, as each has different problems and scenarios that affect relationships. Communication is the most important way to keep relationships strong. The couple have a responsibility of keeping the divorced informed about the progress of the wedding and they should also be given a chance to contribute. Never compare the behaviour of one parent to another, as this could result in conflict.





A wedding ceremony follows certain etiquette in order to make the occasion flow seamlessly.





- In a semi-private wedding, bridesmaids and groomsmen should perform certain responsibilities in assisting the bride and groom.





- The bridesmaids should obviously be younger than the bride and their outfils should complement each other. The dresses of the bridesmaids can include more ornaments and composed of light and graceful fabric. Flowers should serve as the main decoration.





- The wedding gown should be very simple but can be combined with few jewels or ornaments coming from the parents or groom. The most attractive part of the dress should be the garland and veil.





- The bridesmaids should help the bride in wearing the wedding gown and attending to guests. Bridemaids should position themselves at the bride’s left side during the ceremony. The first bridesmaid should be responsible in keeping the bouquet and gloves.





- Bridesmaids can be positioned from the tallest to the shortest from the couple in order to be symmetrical. A bridesmaid and groomsman with similar height can be paired with each other.





- The groomsmen are assigned to receive the clergyman and then lead him to the couple. They should be positioned groom’s right side during the wedding ceremony.





Ceremony in Church





The bride enters from the left side walking with her father followed by her bridesmaids. The groom enters the room from the right and is followed by his groomsmen. The parents come from behind the entourage, while the attendants can stand from either side.





The glove of the bride does not need to be snug, as it will be taken off later in the ceremony. In addition, the ring should be placed where the groom can easily see it to avoid delaying the ceremony.



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Wedding Etiquette: Cash Bar Wedding Parties




Open bar wedding party has been gaining popularity these days because more and more couples have been celebrating an evening wedding. With open bar, guests are free to order any brand of drink to their liking without limit as to how many shots or glasses they should order.





However, some couples with limited budget see cash bar as the best option for them. As opposed to open bar, guests must pay for every drink that they order in a cash bar wedding party. The newly weds won't be held liable for a guest's non-payment of a drink ordered. Guests should leave a bill for a drink the way a customer does when he ordered a drink in a local bar.





If you, a groom or bride-to-be, are concerned with wedding etiquette, wedding etiquette specialists will tell you not to go for a cash bar. If you would be graded for a wedding etiquette examination, saying yes to a cash bar has a grade of zero.





For specialists on wedding etiquette, cash bar is not an option even for couples who are tight on a budget. Since cash bar violates wedding etiquette, wedding etiquette specialists say that you should expect snide remarks from your guests if you pursue a cash bar wedding party. You might even hear them saying things like, the newly wed do not know wedding etiquette, or if they couldn't afford an open bar, they shouldn't have hosted a cocktail party at all and they should have stayed with a sit down dinner.





Guests who would make such a remark obviously are unaware of wedding etiquette too. But just the same, we cannot silence them for making such remarks.





Some wedding etiquette books even say that if you are thinking of a cash bar night party, make a pass for a night party; it's better not to have a night party at all if it would be a cash bar.





- Solution to Cash Bar





There is a solution though to cash bar. According to books on wedding etiquette, you can implement the semi-open bar. With this strategy, you won't worry about violating wedding etiquette through cash bar and you won't need a big budget to throw an open bar wedding party.





Wedding etiquette specialists would recommend you to open bar the first two drinks to your wedding guests and cash bar the ordered drinks thereafter.





Two drinks are considered socially acceptable standards for social drinking. In implementing the semi open, semi cash bar wedding party, you have satisfied the needs of guests expecting you to practice wedding etiquette while at the same time you have satisfied yourself for not spending too much.





Many couples who are not limited on a budget implement the two-drink open bar and cash bar afterwards cocktail or evening wedding party. This is to avoid excessive drinking from wedding guests, and for wedding guests to maintain social composure.



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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Much Ado About Wedding Envelopes




When preparing for a wedding, the first thing the soon-to-be-wed couple will have to pay attention to is the guest list. It will be advisable to make a comprehensive and complete guest list before planning for the reception so you will have the rough estimate how many people might show up.





After the guest list was completed, the couple should start making or composing the wedding invitation. There are dozens of wedding etiquettes that cover this particular aspect of wedding preparation.





When preparing the wedding invitation, please bear in mind that your invitations will create a first impression of the coming wedding among the guests.





Good invitations, or those that adhere to acceptable wedding etiquettes, will create the impression or idea that the couple is caring for the guests and are valuing them as to inviting them to take part in the important occasion.





Preparing the wedding invitation





Most of today’s wedding invitations are prepared by professional printers. Some are part of packages offered by wedding planners.





Wedding invitations should be carefully and tastefully worded so the message would be effectively conveyed. Paying attention to even the smallest details in the invitation can make a really significant difference on how the invitation will be received by the recipients.





This particular section will focus on one aspect in wedding invitation preparation that most couples often neglect the addressing envelope.





Envelopes





Addressing envelopes are often not paid much attention to because most couples and wedding organizers think guests will not pay particular attention to them.





It can be true. There are some guests that pay no attention or do not care about the general presentation and appearances of addressing envelopes. But there are a significant few that do care about how invitations’ envelopes are addressed.





For a start, we know that for every person, the sweetest sound or word is his or her own name. Thus, it often annoys them when people misspell their names.





In adherence to traditional and practical wedding etiquette, make sure that the addressing envelope bears correctly spelled names. Titles to people should also be mentioned and addressed in the envelope. Doctors would like to be called as one, as well as engineers, architects, lawyers and priests.





Wedding etiquettes for addressing envelopes also urge that couples or wedding invitation makers should spell out everything. Even titles in envelopes should be spelled out. Thus, Doctor is written instead of Dr.; Engineer is written instead of Engr; and Attorney is written instead of Atty.





Zip codes in addresses in envelopes for wedding invitations should not be hyphenated. Of course, practically, the addresses written in the envelopes should be accurate, or else, the invitation will be returned to you.





As for children, their names are not usually written in envelopes for wedding invitations. Wedding etiquettes for addressing envelopes have it that only the parents’ name are mentioned in the envelope.





For guests with no definite professional titles, do not forget to put Mr., Ms., or Mrs. before their names. This is a universal gesture that indicates respect to the person.





Inner envelopes





For aesthetic rather than practical reasons, some wedding invitations include inner envelopes. According to existing wedding etiquettes, inner envelopes are not a no, no, but they are not also required.





Wedding invitations can get away with it. However, inner envelopes certainly make for much better presentation. They may cost a little more, though.





The aim of inner envelopes is to clearly state or reiterate who exactly is invited to the wedding. Children’s names are never mentioned in the address envelope, but in inner envelopes, they can be mentioned.





In accordance to wedding etiquettes, inner envelopes also may appear less formal. Names and titles can be abbreviated.





Wedding invitations herald good news





Yes, wedding invitations are the herald or bearer of the good news. In wedding etiquette books, experts say the invitation should be considered a gift coming from the soon-to-be-wed couple to their beloved guests.





Wedding invitations are tokens of appreciation by the couple to their friends, families and relatives who have played significant roles in their lives. Make every wedding invitation count for that reason.



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The Rules For Second Wedding Etiquette




There are instances of second weddings and for these times, second wedding etiquette will asked to be observed by the couple. It entirely depends on whose experience is complicated by matters of the former wedding.





Before the wedding:





It is a second wedding etiquette to acknowledge the former wife or husband. If the relationship is amiable, announcing the engagement is best done over dinner. Second wedding etiquette requires a courtesy to be extended to the former legal partner.





If the previous relationship is not so good, the future bride or groom should inform them of their intentions through the telephone. Some second wedding etiquette can also be extended to the former partner’s family, if they are very close.





If the couple has children to think about, it is second wedding etiquette to inform them of their decision. Regardless of their children’s protests, this should not be skipped or done at the last minute. Children have a longer time to adjust and accept certain realities. One of them is the thought of having a new mom or dad.





Therefore, a second wedding etiquette requires mom and dad to make their engagement known to the children first. If the relationship is good between the kids and the new mom or dad, they will respect their parent’s wishes and support their union.





The wedding details:





Having gone through the entire wedding process before, this will be easier to handle the second time around. The couple should remember the second wedding etiquette of holding a smaller event and inviting only their close friends and family. It is rude to ask for the former partner to attend but if there is no problem, they can do so.





The couple can discuss second wedding etiquette regarding the budget for the wedding. It is normal that expenses are shared. The question of who will pay for what can be decided among the bride and groom privately.





For most second weddings, a lot of them prefer to celebrate out of town. Perhaps because of their higher disposable income, they now have the luxury to have the wedding in a foreign place. Second wedding etiquette is much the same as the first wedding which considers the guests and who can afford to travel that far, like Hawaii, for the event.





The wedding location and reception:





As a rule, second wedding etiquette requires the bride and groom to not celebrate their marriage in a place reminiscent of the past relationships. Second weddings are sensitive occasions for both parties since there is an unspoken expectation from the partner regarding the first marriage.





Choosing the theme, the wedding location and where the reception will be held is a matter for both parties to discuss. The locations should be accessible to the family and guests.





Regarding the color of the dress, it is all right for the bride to wear a white wedding gown. The groom and groomsmen can wear a tuxedo. For a second wedding etiquette, you can still pretty much follow the traditional color palette.





The couple as a second wedding etiquette should also provide for the transportation of everyone. It is allowed to ask beforehand who will bring a car so that the number of rented automobiles can be estimated. Doing so will save the couple money and time.





Second wedding as a family affair:





Not all second weddings are about building new families. The second wedding etiquette can be used to celebrate a renewal of vows to each other. This is usually done to mark a marriage’s longevity like the 25th year or the 50th year anniversary.





Weddings like this are more private and solemn than the first wedding and perhaps more joyous. Reaffirming one’s vow made to their wife or husband is such a beautiful thing. The second wedding etiquette for the couple is to invite their closest friends and family to the event and keep it as simple as possible.





For guests:





It is proper second wedding etiquette to bring a gift for the couple. Though using a bridal registry is optional, second wedding gifts are often those that the couple can appreciate and use. Money is still accepted and the second wedding etiquette of handing the envelopes to the family members is still practiced.





The rules for second wedding etiquette are not at all hard to follow. All the couple has to do is be considerate of the other’s feelings and decisions in whatever part of the wedding. And as a second wedding etiquette rule, the honeymoon should be as sweet, if not sweeter, than the first wedding.



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Monday, March 26, 2012

Wedding Plans, Wedding Etiquette and Wedding Shows in Colorado




If you have wedding plans, why not take the time to study wedding etiquette and attend wedding shows in Colorado. With wedding etiquette lessons you will learn what to and what not to do so that you won't hear anything from your guests that might discomfort you.





You don't need to follow all wedding etiquette rules; all you need to do is learn the basics and you can bend the rules accordingly. Of course, you will only bend wedding etiquette rules that won't make your mother and close friends raise their eyebrows. You very well know how to bend rules with taste.





You won't wear a black wedding dress just to bend a wedding etiquette rule for the sake of bending it. Wear black wedding dress if you have a reason. But if you can do with a white wedding dress, well, that would be better. Bend on some other rules instead. Such as being informal in the wordings on your wedding invitation.





On the other hand, attending wedding shows in Colorado will give you an idea on what to expect from a country and garden weddings and who are the best suppliers that you should hire when you plan to get wed in Colorado.





-- Why More and More Couples Want to Get Married in Colorado?





Many couples have been getting married in Colorado because of the cool weather, beautiful gardens, and homey, old fashioned barn and big houses which are the best wedding reception for a country themed wedding.





Colorado is situated in Southwestern America. It is known for its breathtaking scenery-- snowcapped mountains and moist grasslands -- and world world famous ski slopes that attract skiers and snowboard enthusiasts (that come from every place of the planet) each year between the months of December and March. Colorado's Rocky Mountain State is home to North America's best skiing locations, such as: Vail, Steamboat Springs, Aspen and Breckenridge.





Boulder, Colorado boasts Aspen rich parks with green grasslands. Boulder, Colorado is perfect for couples who plans to have a garden wedding.





In the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, a garden that looks like paradise is open for public. The Alpine Garden is a botanical garden filled with colorful, high elevation plants. The rugged mountains and pine trees are the perfect backdrop for your wedding photos.





The Alpine Garden hosts private events such as weddings. Its Rock Garden Terrace can accommodate up to fifty (50) guests, which is just perfect for a simple wedding with only close family and friends as guests.





The kiss of the newly weds and the loving look that they give one another is enough to warm the hearts of guests in the cool Colorado garden terrace.





-- Attend Wedding Shows in Colorado





On your wedding plans list, write that you will study Colorado wedding etiquette and mark dates of wedding shows in Colorado. Wedding etiquette in Colorado is not actually stiff; people celebrate festivities with country inspired cuisine and lots of wine, as you will learn from wedding shows in Colorado.





Colorado exudes freshness of blooming flowers, green grass, and cool weather. This is the reason why lots of wedding shows are being held in Colorado. Couples with wedding plans go to wedding shows in Colorado because of the fabulous things they hear about the place as a good venue to celebrate weddings and party on with country and garden wedding themes.





Wedding shows in Colorado features wedding etiquette books for couples with wedding plans. Wedding etiquette books contain information about wedding etiquette on invitation, wedding etiquette on who pays the wedding expenses, wedding etiquette for step mother and fathers, wedding etiquette for second family, wedding etiquette on what the bride should wear including her bridesmaids and her guests' clothing, and wedding etiquette on the issue of cash bar.





Emily Post was known for her wedding etiquette knowledge and she had a spectacular book about wedding etiquette for couples with wedding plans. Everything that a couple needs to know about socializing during the wedding has been compiled in a single, thin book.





If you have wedding plans and want to catch the latest wedding shows in Colorado, just go to the official website of the State of Colorado and they have information about various events in the State of which include wedding shows in Colorado.



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Recommended Wedding Etiquette Books




In every part of the world, ladies dream of weddings. More often than not, they succeed in getting one. Thus, for every nation or country, in every culture, there are weddings.





Weddings have become inevitable events in modern society. But, it is clear and apparent that weddings have become, in a sense, a way of lifestyle. It can be attributed to the Western influence.





Wedding traditions, be it for Americans, Asians, Europeans, Africans or any race, have become universalized. When you say universalized, it means the event has adhered to same customs and traditions.





Thus, we have wedding etiquettes. Wedding etiquettes can vary from one country to another. But the variations are only slight and minimal. Moreover, the ethics and etiquettes in weddings are all but the same.







Because being into weddings or attending weddings have become a way of our modern life, people can get anxiety knowing that there are certain gestures that can be considered not likely during weddings.





If you are a bride or a groom, the anxiety can get really concerning. The couple will have to undergo a hard time on wedding jitters and on anxiety from wedding customs.





Thus, the best way to help the soon-to-be-wed couple is to educate them about certain wedding etiquettes.





Because learning venues for wedding etiquettes can get so distracting, awkward and embarrassing at the same time, it is advisable that those needing briefings for wedding etiquettes consult the book stands.





The following are several of the highly recommended readings or books for or about wedding etiquettes. To get to know the books better, or to absorb what they have to say, get to the nearest book store or go to your favorite online shopping site to place an order.





Some recommended wedding etiquette books





“The Everything Etiquette Book: A Modern-Day Guide to Good Manners” by Leah Ingram. The author, Leah Ingram is considered as one of society’s etiquette experts. Actually, the book is not exclusive to wedding etiquettes.





The book tackles etiquettes for everyday living. Included in the topics covered are how to deal with annoying neighbors, how to choose and send the perfect gift for every occasion, professionalism at work, camaraderie with colleagues and friends, dealing with unlikely relatives and so on.





Because the book covers everything etiquette, of course, a few pages are allotted to weddings. The wedding etiquettes mentioned in the book are glimpses and shortened or simplified, but they still are effective tips.





“Crane’s Wedding Blue Book” by Steven L. Feinberg. Mr Steven Feinberg’s wedding book is very detailed and covers everything about wedding etiquettes.





The issues tackled start from the preparation---from short listing the guest list, doing the invitation, hiring wedding planners, and so on. The wedding etiquettes covered by the book extend to until after the honeymoon, when the couple should have finished giving out thank you cards to their wedding guests.





The book also gives tips and guidelines on what kind and color of paper to use when printing out invites and than you notes. It also deals with the proper way of handling unlikely, and yes, even wedding crashers.





“The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: Insights and Advice on Handling Even the Stickiest Wedding Issues” by Emily Ehrenstein and Laura Morin. The book gives out little and practical do’s and don’ts during weddings.





The book takes the issues from the different perspectives of that of the bride, the groom, the parents, the maid of honor, the bride’s maids, the groom’s men, stepmothers, down to the guests.





The book boasts of practical solution to every concern and awkward situations that occur during weddings. The situations discussed can sometimes get cute, amusing and funny, but you can tell that they are timely and truthful. Several sticky situations, for sure, have happened to you.





Everyone who has attended weddings or who are planning to attend or get into one can relate to the book.





The book even gives out solutions and advice on how to handle difficult situations during weddings that include how to ask parents-in-law for financial assistance to cover the reception, including step parents in the ceremony, allowing single guests to tag along dates down to planning seat arrangements for divorced parents and more.





The above mentioned wedding etiquette books can be found at our favorite book stand or can be ordered online. Just read the books by heart so you can get to absorb wedding etiquettes and save your face when situations get really sticky during weddings.



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Sunday, March 25, 2012

Wedding Etiquette for Brides




Whether we admit it or don't Wedding Etiquette is still an important issue to many of us. Don't you hear yourself complaining for some weddings that you have attended? Maybe you have heard some friends who have attended a wedding ceremony and learning after the rites that he or she was not invited for the wedding reception.





Although it is acceptable and is within the Wedding Etiquette standard to invite some guests only at the wedding reception and some only at the wedding reception, the guests should be informed of this fact before hand. These instances want us to shout: Learn some manners!





For brides out there who are getting married next year, it will be for your own good if you would buy Emily Post's book on Wedding Etiquette. It will teach you the Wedding Etiquette basics and Wedding Etiquette blunders. Knowing what violates and follows Wedding Etiquette will help you go through your big day, hassle and stress free.





-- Basic Wedding Etiquette for Brides





On what to wear.





Modern Wedding Etiquette allows brides to wear any design that she want in any color. Brides are not anymore limited to wearing ultra white wedding dress with sleeves. They may wear a tube, halter or spaghetti strapped wedding dress in creme, beige or pastel colors.





But for the sake of Wedding Etiquette, she should also consider her cultural background and her church's dress requirement. If your church requires you to wear a shawl over a tube wedding dress, then you must do so.





If the minister or priest thinks that your red wedding dress is unappropriate for the church and ask you to replace your $10,000 designer wedding dress for a white wedding dress, then you should take it off and buy a white ready-to-wear wedding gown at Macy's.





On who to invite.





It is a basic Wedding Etiquette for a bride to talk to her groom on who and who are not to invite. Remember that the is the two of you who will get married, not only you. It will be a violation of Wedding Etiquette if you will invite persons your groom do not want to get invited or do not want to see, such as your old flame or his old boss that he had an argument eventhough you are in speaking terms with his old boss. It is not just about Wedding Etiquette, it is in fact about the issue of respect.





If it is your second marriage, you should not invite your ex-spouse or your ex-parents-in-law. Even if you are in good terms with your ex, Wedding Etiquette dictates that you should not invite them. This is to avoid unnessary confrontations or wedding drama. Your guest will also feel uncomfortable around your ex.





But there is an exception to this Wedding Etiquette. If your children to your ex-spouse has requested for the presence of their father, then you should talk about it with your groom. If he agrees, then invite your ex to your wedding. But there is an alternative to this, however.





You can invite your guest for a dinner at your home after your wedding or honeymoon. This private dinner is more quiet and will save you the trouble of explaining to your father and mother and other close guests why your ex-husband is in your wedding.





On gift giving and registry.





It is a big Wedding Etiquette no-no to ask for cash gifts from your guests. Although it is a reality that newlyweds need cash as a startup money since they need to rent a bigger place or buy new appliances that the two of them needs, you don't want to look like a greedy bride for asking for some cash.





Let them decide what to give. If they have decided to give you cash, then say your thanks. But don't ever ask them to fund a mortgage or fund a charity that you will establish as a wedding gift.





Registry card is acceptable although modern Wedding Etiquette objects to insertion of the registry card in the invitation. Wedding Etiquette specialists say that brides should put up an online registry card and inform your guests through your invitation that you have an online registry and they may want to look it up in case they would decide to buy you gifts from your registry.



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Wedding Etiquette on Victorian Weddings




Thanks to educated Victorians with their lustrous names, intelligence and writing abilities, they have passed on to us what a mannered person should do in all social situations. In the 1870's to 1880's there were at more than sixty (60) etiquette books that were published of which includes Victorian wedding etiquette. These Victorian wedding etiquettes became popular before and are still popular in these days.





Victorian wedding etiquette focuses on manners, culture and dress before, during and after the wedding ceremony and reception. Victorians also have etiquette rules on courtship and engagement.





Victorian Wedding Etiquette on Marriage Ceremony





For Victorians, the marriage ceremony varies with the fortunes, desires and wishes of the wedding parties. According to Victorian Wedding Etiquette, a bride and couple may have a very lavish and expensive wedding if they can afford it or they can have a small gathering of closest family and friends celebrating the wedding with them.





As to the form of right, Victorians have no specific directions as to how the wedding rite should be done, but they should follow rules of their churches of the proper wedding rite.





Victorians who are to be married by their ministers, wedding etiquette calls them to study the form or proper wedding rite of their particular church. For Victorians who will be married in a Methodist church should study Book of Discipline. Episcopalian Victorians, on the other hand should read the Book of Common Prayer. Catholic Victorians are invoked to know the basic Ritual in a Catholic Wedding Celebration.





In Victorian wedding etiquette, couples must do wedding rehearsals. The rehearsal of the ceremony is always made in private. Victorians believe that with this way, the bride and groom and the wedding parties could understand better the necessary forms and rites.





-- Victorian Wedding Etiquette General Rules





Victorians have general rules in wedding etiquette. They are interesting to learn and to note especially if you are planning to have a Victorina wedding theme.





Bridesmaids and groomsmen are expected to assist in the preparation of the wedding and even during the wedding especially if the wedding is not private. Wealthy Victorians held weddings for public and with many guests that were expected to attend (even from nearby towns), the hired help won't be able to accommodate the guests.





Although this seems funny nowadays, but Victorian wedding etiquette is clear on this matter: bridesmaids should be younger, yes you read it right, younger than the bride. If you have an older sister who you love you dearly, you won't be able to make her a bridesmaid if you were born during the time of the Victorians.





Victorian wedding etiquette on bridesmaids clothing is also peculiar. Bridesmaids should wear dresses that look like that of the bride. It was believed before (even before the time of the Victorians) that a devil is on the loose everytime there is a wedding. This devil is tasked to kidnap the bride, take her away from her groom, and take her virginity from her. So, bridesmaids are selected, those that look like the bride, younger or of her age, and must dress the way she dresses so as to confuse the devil who should be taken.





The material for bridesmaids wedding dresses are usually light and flowing fabric that allows graceful gait, and must have lots of ornament. Dresses should not be necessarily expensive.





The bridesmaids should assist the bride (thus the name brides' MAID) in dressing her, receiving company, holding her things, etc. They should stand at the brides left side, with the first bridesmaid or the maid of honor holding the gloves and bouquet.





As for the groomsmen, he should receive the clergyman and present to him the couple to be married. The first groomsman or the best man should stand upon the right side of the groom during the ceremony.





Victorian wedding etiquette has not been changed much. They are still the basic wedding etiquette that we have today. We can follow Victorian wedding etiquette's general rule as is without looking or making ourselves outrageous. Some of victorian wedding etiquette are just bent a bit, such as a wedding dress, to accommodate the wishes and desires of the bride or the groom or of a relative special to the hearts of the couple.



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Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Bride’s or Groom’s Father has a Girlfriend




Situation 1. Martha was about to get married. On the wedding day, she, her mother, her bridesmaids and her father’s girlfriend went to the beauty parlor to have their hair done. Upon arrival, they have learned that only one stylist was present.





The situation created a commotion. The father’s girlfriend, being so vain and inconsiderate was the first to manage her hair done. Of course, the mom and the bridesmaids fumed in anger.





Situation 2. Albert was the groom. His father has a current hot girlfriend. The girlfriend was almost of Albert’s age and is obviously just after fun. In short, it was apparent his father’s girlfriend and his dad are just having a fling. Should the girl be invited to the wedding?





There you go. Wedding situations can sometimes get really petty. If you are a bride’s or a groom’s father’s girlfriend, consider your position. Do not ruin some people’s precious moments. Do not settle to steal wedding thunders. Adopt a mature stance even just for the wedding occasion.





Dilemmas





The usual dilemmas brides and grooms encounter involving their father’s girlfriends and their moms will be discussed in this section.





Let us consider this situation. Dory’s father has a girlfriend. He threatens that he will not attend or show up at the wedding if the girlfriend will not be invited. In short, the father wants to display his sexual prowess by tagging along his hot girlfriend in the wedding.





Inviting them both will never be a problem, Dory thought. But the situation got complicated when Dory got to talk to her mother.





Telling the mom of her father’s demand, the mother, of course, got really really angry. There will be no way she can be at the wedding if her father will bring along his girlfriend. The world seems too tight for the three people.





What should Dory do? It is like asking her who she loves more, her father or her mother?





Adhering to the wedding etiquettes, Dory should not choose one. She should instead strategize to avoid being made to choose.





As a wedding etiquette, fathers and mothers should be in the wedding. For Dory’s case, she just told her mom and dad that they would not want to ruin the occasion just because of a tiny dispute. It worked.





Of course, the mom, the dad, and his girlfriend will never get along, but Dory made sure the three will not meet face to face during the occasion. That way, the wedding moved smoothly. No cakes were thrown and no one screamed at each other.





What if the father’s girlfriend is for the long-term?





Bride’s or groom’s father’s girlfriends are not always on the downside. Sometimes there are these girlfriends who are meant or intended to be long time partners.





If that is the case, wedding etiquettes have it that the girlfriend be invited to the wedding. Anyways, she will be a part of the family soon so she should start her function early.





Make sure the ex-wife and the current girlfriend of the bride’s or groom’s father know that each other would attend so both of them will not be surprised. Remember, it is during surprising moments that hot-tempered women act impulsively.





Short-term or flings





If the father’s girlfriend is apparently just a fling or just a short-term relationship, and if the father’s divorce with the mom is not yet through, explain to the father the situation.





Tell him the sanctity of marriage will be symbolized in the ceremony. Tell him, though it may sound not really nice, that bringing in a date especially since he is not yet totally divorced would degrade the solemnity and sanctity of the sacrament.





Explain that whether you dislike his girlfriend or you do like her, people will still see him married to the mother. So he should spare his girlfriend from embarrassment by not bringing her along. The girlfriend might just feel that she is not invited to the wedding anyways.





Fathers should be more understanding because they are assumed to be more mature and wise. Thus, if you are a bride or a groom in those situations, find the strength to deal with the matter with grace and patience. Be diplomatic and talk it out. This will save you your wedding day.



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Wedding Etiquette For a Second Marriage




What if your heart beats again for the second time? Scary, isn't it? Many questions pop-up your mind especially now that he proposed marriage to you. The first question that your mind have formed was what is the wedding etiquette for a second marriage?





It is a tough question but it needs to be answered. Learning the wedding etiquette for a second marriage will help you lessen the pressure and tension that your first family (which you love so much) have unconsciously thrown at your back. You need to carry the situation like any sensible adult.





Before, it is a popular thought that second marriage should not be elaborate, extravagant and formal the way a first marriage is celebrated. But today, this belief does not hold true anymore. You can still aim for an intimate, smaller and quieter second marriage but you can also celebrate a festive one, if you prefer and your budget allows you to do so.





What is important is that your second marriage is celebrated the way you would want it to be. Don't limit yourself and do what others expect you to do for a second marriage. Remember, it is you who will get wed and not them. Besides, you would not violate any wedding etiquette by following your heart's desires.





Here are some information for you on wedding etiquette for a second marriage.





-- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Announcing Your Engagement





In getting wed for the second time, your major concerns will be the second marriage's effect on your children, if you have any, and to your close relatives. If you plan to remarry, your children should know first of your decision. You must ready your children for having a new family and new brothers and sisters. Uniting two families will not be stressful for you but for your children, most especially.





The next to be informed are your parents. Of course, they need to be in your wedding and informing them is a sign of courtesy to them. Next will be your ex, especially if you have arranged joint custody for the children. He should know that there will be some changes in your household.





Also, you should wear your new engagement ring. There mustn't have any trace of old flames on your fingers the moment you begin planning and announcing your second wedding.





-- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Dress Issue





Widow brides who are getting married for the second time are expected to wear lilac or lavender dress. But these does not hold true nowadays. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage gives bride a chance to wear white dress again. Divorced brides can also wear white dress although they could remove the veil and tiara and instead simply wear flowers on your head.





-- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Who to Invite?





When planning for your second wedding, think that you can invite any person you want to attend to your wedding. Refrain from inviting former in-laws and ex-spouses, even if you are on good terms with them. Guests may also feel awkward seeing and being around them.





If your children, however, requested that their father should be in the wedding, try to talk them out about it and tell them how awkward it would feel for the new in-laws and the new groom to see an ex-spouse around. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage does not obligate you to invite an ex-spouse to your second wedding, although you may do so if the situation warranted.





But if your new groom agrees to the idea of inviting an ex-spouse as requested by the children and your ex-spouse agreed on it, then you may invite your ex-spouse to attend your second wedding.





But there is a more sensible idea than inviting your ex-spouse to your wedding. Invite him to a dinner, perhaps at your home, with your children and new husband, if he is up to it. Tell your children that the dinner replaces the wedding invitation and your children may finally agree on not invitating their father on the wedding day. You may do this before or after your wedding or honeymoon.



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Friday, March 23, 2012

The Right Way to Dress: Wedding Etiquette for Clothing




In our modern society, no one would care if you break a small rule or bend some rules to make accommodate your wishes. And this also applies to wedding ettiquette + clothing. You can break some wedding etiquette rule according to your wishes.





Although old and traditional rules have now been modified, you should learn the basic wedding etiquette on clothing before you bend some and break some.





Below are some guide for you, bride-to-be, on wedding etiquette + clothing:





Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Bride





Traditionally the bride wears white. This is said to signify virginal purity and innocence. But these days there's a slight changes in wedding etiquette on clothing for bride. Brides are now allowed to wear a variation of white, such as ivory, creme, and pale pastel colors to match the wedding's color motif.





For a widow bride who will wed for the second time, the tradition is for a bride to wear lilac or lavander. However, modern brides don't follow this tradition faithfully. Even ministers and priests allow widow brides to wear wedding dress that they feel appropriate. In fact modern wedding etiquette + clothing on widow bride is cream or ivory colored wedding dress.





For a church wedding, brides are asked to wear formal and more traditional wedding dress. The old wedding etiquette on clothing for church wedding has been kept for centuries although the church do allow creme colored wedding dress and a tube and low back style wedding dress as long as the shoulders are draped with semi-transparent cloth or the veil covers it.





With wedding that will be held at the registry office or which is more know as the civil wedding ceremony, brides are allowed to wear any wedding dress that they like. Simple evening dress may do, even your regular working clothes may do. With civil wedding ceremony, the rule on wedding etiquette + clothing do not apply.





Of course, if you want to avoid cringing at your photograph when people look at it or if you yourself look at it in the future, don't try to wear a wedding dress that don't look good at you. Forget the wedding etiquette on clothing, just follow the few good teachings of street smart sensibilities. Extreme fashion didn't look good yesterday and won't look good today and tomorrow.





The wedding etiquette on clothing if the bride is formally dressed, the rest of the wedding party and wedding guests should be formally dressed.





-- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Groom





The traditional wedding etiquette on clothing for the groom, the male members of the family and the groomsmen should wear morning dress. For evening weddings the modern wedding etiquette on clothing for groom is Tuxedo and black bow tie. For civil ceremonies, groom may wear suit or match the dress theme of his bride. If his bride will sport a summer look, he should wear a soft, flowing, linen polo and beige cotton pants to match his bride's summer get-up.





-- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Bridesmaids





Wedding etiquette on clothing for bridesmaid dictates that bridesmaids should wear any dress that the bride chooses for them. However, bridesmaids may choose to dress differently with each other. It is acceptable that bridesmaids have different dress the designs. The only thing that they should maintain is the color of the dress. They should wear the same color, the color that the bride requires.





-- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Male Attendants





Ushers and best man cannot choose the dress that they want. They will dress the same as the groom. If the groom wears a morning dress or a tuxedo and a black bow tie, then so will they.





-- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Immediate Family





Any close family will dress formally. The two mothers, that of the bride and the groom, must not both wear dress of the same color, while the fathers wear any dress that the groom chooses. The choices, however, is just between black tie and morning dress.





-- Wedding Etiquette on Clothing for Guests





The invitation speaks what guests should wear. A formal invitation requires them to wear a formal attire. Modern wedding etiquette on clothing for guests has allowed male guests to wear black tie even if the wedding is a bit informal. For the female guests, they are now allowed to wear evening dress to match their partner's black tie.



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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Wedding Etiquette For Cancelled Weddings




The worst nightmare of any couple is the cancelled wedding. Despite months of preparation, things can still go wrong even at the moment of saying “I do.” From a cheating partner to having the extreme case of cold feet, one must remember to maintain wedding etiquette throughout the entire ordeal.





Depending on the seriousness of a cancelled wedding, one can still turn a failed occasion into a positive one. An obvious wedding etiquette procedure is to inform the family and guests that there will be no wedding celebration. If the wedding is cancelled a few days before the actual ceremony, sending cards to family and friends announcing the broken engagement is a suitable wedding etiquette.





All arrangements made for the wedding date itself should be cancelled. Some companies will ask for payment, an amount that could be equal to the preparations taken by the supplier. It is a wedding etiquette to handle all this with grace and finesse.





However, if the cancellation happens on the wedding date itself, the announcement must be made verbally and as soon as possible to avoid public humiliation. The family should use the wedding etiquette of comforting the one left at the altar and make it a point to shield him or her from other people since this is a sad situation.





Gift wedding etiquette should be followed. This means all the wedding gift items will be returned, including cash, appliances or properties. It will be hard to do but at least the aggrieved party will not be accused of impoliteness.





When calling off a wedding, it really is a proper wedding etiquette to do it months before the wedding date. That is what pre-marriage counseling is for. The wedding etiquette dictates that all couples should take marriage seminars to make sure that they are prepared emotionally and mentally for the huge responsibility ahead.





A broken engagement is embarrassing as it is but as a wedding etiquette, you have the freedom not to question the couple why they decided not to continue with the wedding. And being the couple, you also have the right not to tell anyone until you feel you are ready.





Not all broken engagements happen because of a lonely partner. When a relative’s death occurs, it is proper wedding etiquette to cancel the wedding. This shows wedding etiquette in respect to the deceased’s family and expresses sincere sorrow.





Proper wedding etiquette is to allow six months to pass before attempting to walk down the aisle again. And even if the couple decides to wed two to three months after the death in the family, one must be ready to simplify the ceremony to observe wedding etiquette.





Engagements broken by family members also happen. If this occurs, try to resolve the matter as discretely a possible. Wedding etiquette dictates that only the couple can decide on canceling the weeding or postponing it to a later date.





When a partner is left cold on the altar:





Things can become worse but you can also turn it into a positive one. If the wedding reception has been paid for, the person who paid for it can use the reception and continue on with the party for the guests’ benefit. Wedding etiquette may not require the aggravated person to attend but it is a better way to forget the embarrassment.





When the cancelled wedding occurs out of town, it is an important wedding etiquette to have a clear head and sort out the pre-made plans of the wedding. Things like the honeymoon trip and the hotel accommodations must be taken cared of. If the aggrieved party has paid for the trip, he or she can choose to take it as a getaway and period of reflection.





Bouncing back from the broken engagement:





The first few weeks are the toughest to face. Be prepared to here the question “Why?” and “What happened?” a lot. Wedding etiquette dictates that you have to face these people with a smile and offer as little detail as possible.





As attractive as the sound of revenge is, you must try to keep an open mind and be as civil about everything a possible. Remember that this person once had an important part of your life and part of a wedding etiquette is to respect their decision.



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Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for the Wedding?




Getting married these days is very costly. For brides, before you buy from suppliers of your choice or hire the most costly services of makeup artists, wedding coordinators, coutourier, etc, talk to your husband-to-be first and discuss your budget.





Before you go bridezilla by demanding this and that for your wedding, determine who pays for your wedding and will cover the largest percentage of your wedding budget.





Below are the wedding etiquette on who pays or should pay for your wedding. This will serve as a guide for couples who would like to know the basic etiquette in who pays for what.





Traditional Wedding Etiquette - Who Pays For the Wedding?





Wedding Etiquette on who pays for the weddings has evolved for the last century. Traditionally, wedding etiquette books dictate that the bride's father should pay for the wedding. This was during the time when girls were kept by their fathers inside their house, not allowed to work and go to school, but do household chose and must have lessons from lady manners to teach them social etiquette and wedding etiquette in preparation for their life as married women.





A daughter was 'given' out by her father to a boy or a man who his father thought could feed or fend his daughter when he was gone. And since he would be giving his daughter away, he would host his daughter's wedding and pay for everything as a sign of his agreement to his daughter's marriage. This is the traditional wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding.





-- Modern Wedding Etiquette - Who Pays For the Wedding





Today, wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is not as rigid as it was before. The bride and the groom can go traditional, and thus should ask the father of the bride to host the wedding and pay for the entire wedding expenses. Or if the parents of the groom have expressed their desire to be a co-host of the wedding event, they may do so, especially if the parents of the groom are wealthy and are able to cover some of the expenses.





But since most couples nowadays are both earning their own money, it is not a violation of wedding etiquette if the bride and the groom decide to pay for their own wedding. Some couples prefer to pay for the their own wedding so that they can have more control over the number of guests and who are the persons to invite and how the celebration of the wedding should be held.





Wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is, most of the time, being set aside to grant the wishes of the couple and immediate family members.





-- Alternative Ways of Paying - Wedding Etiquette





Because of the high cost of living these days, paying for the entire cost of the wedding may be beyond the means of the parents of the bride or even of the parents of the groom. If the bride and the groom are earning money for themselves, they may consider paying for the entire expenses fo their wedding.





However, there may be parents who would like to contribute to the wedding cost. Brides and grooms should be sensitive with this matter. Don't say no to your parents even if you think they will hand to you everything that they have. It is their joy to see you get married and their pleasure to play a big part of your wedding (that is by shelling out money for the wedding cost).





It is more reasonable if you will sit down with your parents and discuss with them the projected costs of your wedding and ask them which part of the wedding expenses would they comfortably want to fund. This way, your parents will have an idea of the exact amount that they will shell out while the two of you, bride and groom, will know how much is it that you still need to raise.





Wedding etiquette on who pays for what is not anymore big question these days. The only etiquette that is required of bride and groom is to talk out with their parents the issue of costs or who pays only if the parents have voiced desire to co-host the wedding affair.



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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Miss Manners on Wedding Etiquette for Brides




Emily Post is the well known Miss Manners on Wedding Etiquette. But there are many Wedding Etiquette specialists these days that followed Ms. Emily Post's footstep and became Miss Manners themselves. If you are getting married anytime soon and you want to know some tips from Miss Manners on Wedding Etiquette, here are some Wedding Etiquette basics for you, the blushing bride.





* On Wedding Dress





Miss Manners says Wedding Etiquette of our age is not very strict anymore. Today, Miss Manners allows brides to wear non-conventional color for a wedding gown. Aside from ultra white, creme, and beige, Miss Manners says that it is not against Wedding Etiquette to wear pastel colored wedding gown, especially if the wedding is a Destination Wedding. For a beach wedding, brides can now wear turquoise or aquamarine colored wedding dress to match the color of the dress with the aqua-blue freshness of the sea waters.





* On Wedding Shoes





Miss Manners says Wedding Etiquette allows brides to wear open toed and ankle strap wedding shoes. According to the modern Miss Manners too, white is not anymore the basic color for wedding shoes. You can go with beige, creme, ivory or even red to match an ultra white wedding gown.





Miss Manners says that shoes should be comfortable and stylish. Rhinestones are good and does not defy Wedding Etiquette. But for the sake of taste, Miss Manners recommends that brides should go for less ornamented shoes.





* On Announcing the Engagement





Miss Manners says that first time brides may announce their engagement in newspapers or if they have the fortune to host an engagement ball, then they can announce the engagement in the said party. If you do not have the money to throw an engagement party, Miss Manners says that you can announce your engagement to close family and friends during a dinner.





For second wedding, Miss Manners recommend to brides with second marriage to talk to their children first before making the public announcement. Then the next person that they should talk to is their parents before the ex-spouse. Miss Manners says that a bride, who does not have any child from her ex-spouse, fails to tell her ex about her engagement does not violate a Wedding Etiquette. According to Miss Manners, the bride have no obligation to her ex-spouse unless they have a children of which they have joint custody.





* On Who to Invite





Miss Manners says that it is the bride and the groom and the host (in case the parents will co-host the wedding) has the say on who are or who are not to invite. But the last say, for Wedding Etiquette's sake, is always upon the lips of the bride and the groom since it is their big day and it is them who are the center of attention.





If the bride or the groom don't prefer to invite an ex-boyfriend who is one of the best employee of the bride's father, then the bride's father cannot command her daughter to invite the old flame even if it is the bride's father who have hosted the wedding.





* On Wedding Registry and Cash Gifts





Miss Manners says no to Cash Gifts. Asking for cash gifts is a Wedding Etiquette blunder. Miss Manners says that asking for cash gifts makes the bride and groom look greedy. Even if the couples want to donate the cash gifts to charity, Miss Manners is still against for couple who will plead for cash gifts. Whichever way one may look at it, people will think that couples who ask for cash gifts have a mark of greed on their foreheads.





Wedding Registry card is okay to Miss Manners, except that you should not insert the registry card on the invitation. Better put up an online registry and tell your guests, through your wedding invitation that a registry is currently online for those who wish to give the couple gifts under the couple's wishlists.





This way, according to Miss Manners, Wedding Etiquette is preserved and you won't look too pushy to your guests.



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Wedding Etiquette on Hotel Rooms




A wedding with wedding destination theme has been gaining popularity these days. Couples are choosing a wedding venue far from home. Invited guests are mostly close friends and families who would take the trouble to do a long drive or fly to the wedding venue just to attend the wedding celebration.





Wedding venues for wedding destination are usually being held on a beach, a botanical garden, or scenic spots. These places are offered to public for a fee to use the place for wedding ceremony or wedding reception. But most of these wedding destination venues do not offer a place where the bride, groom, the wedding party and wedding guests may stay before the wedding day. This is the reason why nearby hotels are fully booked even a week before the wedding.





The bride, groom, the rest of the wedding party and the wedding guests are expected to behave and follow wedding etiquette on use of hotel rooms. Yes, wedding etiquette must be observed when using hotel rooms.





For one thing, if you are a bride or a groom and you violated wedding etiquette on proper use of hotel rooms, you will create bad impression on your family name even before the two of you gets married. Or if you are a member of the wedding party or you are a wedding guest and you violated a wedding etiquette on proper use of hotel rooms, you are giving the newly weds a bad name when you should have been helping them create a good name by themselves.





Below are some basic wedding etiquette on proper use of hotel rooms when you have or attending a wedding with wedding destination theme:





-- Wedding etiquette on Proper use of Hotel Rooms Before the Wedding Day





1. The very basic wedding etiquette on proper use of hotel rooms is that the bride and the groom should not share the same suite. Yes, people know that you love each other very much (that is why you are getting married, right?), but please, please save your energy for your wedding day, would you? You can do whatever you want after the wedding day and you have all the time in the world to spend days and nights in each other's arms.





Besides, there is this old tradition that the bride and the groom should not see each other the night before the wedding day or that the groom should not see the bride in her wedding dress because the wedding will be called of.





If you are sharing the same suite, of course the groom would see the bride not just in her wedding dress but as she wears it. So, for just once, follow the old saying even if it is just a superstition just to avoid seeing raised eyebrows from your family and wedding guests. You might even bring your parents or old relatives to a heart attack if you break this old tradition.





Another wedding etiquette in hotel is that brides should refrain from being a bridezilla to the roomboys, chambermaids, and other hotel personnel. Although it is true that the hotel have got fully booked because of your wedding, you should also remember that you don't employ them, much more own them.





You should not ask them to run errands that are not related to their work anymore or shout at them when they can't give you your demands as fast as you want them to be. Stop acting like as though you were the most precious person around because you are getting married in a few hours. Act like a blushing bride with right wedding etiquette and not the other way around.





-- Wedding etiquette on Proper use of Hotel Rooms After the Wedding Day





2. Refrain from getting yourself some hotel souvenirs. If you are a bride, don't mar your newly acquired surname by stealing items that you can easily buy from a department store.





If you are a guest, please restrain your hands from stealing ash trays, towels or comforters as a memento or souvenir. They are not wedding keepsakes from the bride and the groom. Do not worry, the newlyweds have something special for you.



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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Second Wedding Etiquette




Just a decade ago, there is this popular thought in the way second wedding should be celebrated. People say that couples should not be extravagant and formal in celebrating their second wedding, most especially if the bride or the groom was divorced from his or her first spouse. Second wedding should be celebrated quietly, in a smaller and intimate party.





Nowadays, however, this is thought does not hold true to many of us. Couples who will celebrate their Second Wedding should not hide their emotions and love for each other. They could celebrate their Second Wedding in any way they want it to be celebrated. Be it an intimate or quiet one or extravagant and formal the way they have celebrated their first wedding.





Don't think what other people would say about you being too extravagant for a Second Wedding. If you and your groom have the budget to finance a feast wedding, then do as you please! It is not everyday that you will find a person who would make your heart beat the second time. And finding the real Mr. Right for you (which you failed to find from your first spouse) is enough a reason to host a feast.





But do you know that Second Wedding also has its list of Etiquette? So, if you want to avoid seeing raised eyebrows on your wedding day, try to know some basic Second Wedding Etiquette and avoid committing Second Wedding Etiquette blunders.





-- Second Wedding Etiquette - How to Announce Your Engagement





If you have children from your first marriage, getting married for the second time will be a bit hard for them. So, even before you announce your Second Wedding to people that you know, take the time to sit down and talk to your children first about your plans to remarry. This is the most important Second Wedding Etiquette that you must remember. If you failed to tell your kids in advance about your plans of remarrying, you are taking your second marriage in an uneven road even before you, your second husband, his kids and your kids live in one roof.





Second Wedding Etiquette requires you tell your parents of your engagement before you inform your ex-spouse. If you don't have any children with your ex-spouse, you would not violate second wedding etiquette if you won't inform you ex-spouse about your engagement.





-- Second Wedding Etiquette - Wedding Dress Issue





Lilac or lavender is the color of wedding dress for widow brides who are getting married for the second time. But this Second Wedding Etiquette is not obligatory; widow brides may wear any color of wedding dress that they wish to wear.





This fact holds true to divorced brides who will be having her second wedding. Divorced brides can wear white wedding gown. But it would be best if they would leave out the veil and tiara. A flower headress would be the best alternative.





-- Second Wedding Etiquette - Should You Invite Your Ex?





When planning for your second wedding, you should list the people who you would like to invite. Your groom should have his own list too. Then you and the groom should sit down to talk about who should and should not be on the list of guests. This is the proper Etiquette for Second Wedding.





For Second Wedding Etiquette, it is advised that former in-laws and ex-spouses should not be written on the guest list even if you are on good terms with them. Your guests may feel a bit awkward around them.





Even if your groom agrees on the idea of inviting your ex-in-laws and ex-spouse (just to show that he hasn't any bad blood for his ex), you should not agree into it. You won't know what would happen if the former and current in-laws and spouses meet. It's better to be safe than sorry. The proper Second Wedding Etiquette for this scenario is to invite your ex-spouse instead for a dinner after the wedding and honeymoon.



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Wedding Etiquette: For the Father of the Groom's Girlfriend




During the 1800 to 1900, the wedding etiquette is that the father of the groom's girlfriend should pay for the wedding expenses. Everything that has to be paid should be paid by the father of the groom's girlfriend.





This was the wedding etiquette before because it is the father of the groom's girlfriend who will decide on everything that her daughter should do, including approval of the man she would marry, the date of the marriage, and how her marriage should be celebrated.





You may now ask, why was it that girls agree to this wedding etiquette and allow their father to decide for themselves? Is this wedding etiquette still applicable up to this time?





This wedding etiquette was not being questioned during those times. Any decision by the father of the groom's bride is always respected. Even the bride themselves did not think that they were being oppressed. They thought and believe that they were being taken care of fully.





During those times, the father of the grooms bride feed his daughter, took care of her and brought her to lady manners school to learn and practice the right way of socializing, dressing, and speaking. Every teenage daughters in a middle to upper class families were required to attend finishing schools. This was done to teach the bride the proper wedding etiquette and to ready her for the life of a married lady.





So, when the father had decided that her daughter was ready to get married, he will announce his daughter's debut and would held a party for her to announce her coming of age. All suitors would be, of course, under the father's scrutinizing eye. He will only accept suitors that he thinks could feed and take care of her daughter.





If the father has chosen the suitor of his choice and his daughter agrees, the engagement will be announced.





Because of wedding etiquette, the father of the groom's bride won't ask a single penny from the father or parents of the groom. The father of the groom's bride should have saved enough money to celebrate the wedding of his daughter in the way her daughter wants it and the way he, the father, wants it to be held.





So, if he wants an extravagant and festive wedding celebration complete with ball, he should save have saved money the moment he learnt that her child is a she.





Today, however, things have changed. Because of high cost of living and that the brides are not too dependent on their father or parents and are earning their own money as well, the wedding etiquette has bent slightly. Although the modern wedding etiquette does not stop the father of the groom's girlfriend to pay for the wedding, he is not compelled to refuse the help of the groom's parents or their desire to co-host the wedding.





Getting married these days is very costly and it requires a great fortune on the part of the father of the groom's girlfriend. Everyone can contribute to the wedding, financially and of services.





The modern wedding etiquetted does not oblige or compel the father of the groom's girlfriend to shoulder the entire wedding expenses, most especially if he now has a new family and young children that he needs to feed. The traditional wedding etiquette, the father of the groom's girlfriend paying for the wedding cost, may still be done these days only by fathers with great fortune. Daughters should be understanding enough of these situations.





In fact even the groom and her girlfriend can finance their own wedding without the help of their parents. With couples these days preparing their wedding ahead, a year or two, they can have an ample time to save cash for their wedding.





But if the father of the groom's girlfriends has decided to co-host the wedding, the bride and the groom should be sensitive of their feelings and should accept the offered help. Parents want to be part of the most special day of their child and we should not deny them in satisfying themselves by helping out cover some wedding costs.



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Monday, March 19, 2012

Doing the Wedding Invitation




Weddings should be well-planned. Any bride or groom will not want the one important event in her and his life to be just ordinary. That is why it is important for would-be-wed couples to be enlightened and follow several wedding etiquettes.





A lot of mistakes, misdeeds and bad gestures almost always ruin or spoil weddings. Be it on the part of the bride and the groom, the parents, the guests or even the bride’s maids and groom’s men, there are wedding and proper etiquettes that could be adhered to.





Wedding etiquettes are important so people can show to others that they have been raise well and with good and proper breeding. People’s actions also speak a lot about a person, and most uf us want others to speak good of us.





Wedding etiquettes: From the top





Wedding etiquettes are followed even during the initial stage or phase of the wedding---the planning and short listing of guests.





Today, soon-to-be-wed couples are almost always hiring wedding planners to take care of even the smallest details of the forth coming wedding.





But there are still several aspects where the couple should attend to personally. For one, doing the wedding invitation should not be left to the wedding planners.





The soon-to-be-wed couple should make sure that their wedding invitation is personalized. Of course, they are overjoyed in their coming blissful matrimony, and it should show and be conveyed through the wedding invitation.





Sincerity of wordings and aesthetic style of the wedding invitation will certainly do a lot of wonders.





There are a few other mediums the couple could use today to convey invitations to short listed guests. For one, the guests can be reached through e-mail.





E-mails are almost always informal. Through this, the language used is more personalized, thus, sincerity can be truly and freely conveyed.





Another informal channel if conveying wedding invitations is through word of mouth, or the gossip factory.





Words spread faster than we know. Through this, the invitation is conveyed in the third person manner. For example, a forth coming wedding of John and Gina is conveyed through the following word of mouth entry: “Hey, John and Gina are tying the knot this Saturday, 6 pm at the Imperial Suites. I heard the couple’s wedding would be strictly formal.”





Doing the formal wedding invitation





Most wedding experts and life stylists still recommend formal wedding invitations over other forms of invites.





Formal wedding invitations will convey sincerity, style and seriousness. But did you know that the words used in wedding invitations will equally hold a great weight or bearing as that of the message itself?





In adherence to numerous and multiple wedding etiquette guides, the words in the wedding invitation should be written in the third person. Meaning, the pronouns used should be he, she, him, her, their, them.





The invitations, bearing the third-person writing format should strictly be printed on heavyweight cream, white or ivory paper. Even the font style should be paid much attention to. According to several wedding etiquette books, traditional and formal wedding invitations should be using classic style letter fonts like Roman.





More on wordings for wedding invitations





In our modern times, the couple usually pays for all the costs of the wedding. But did you know that traditionally, it is the bride’s parents who carry the burden?





Western wedding etiquettes have it that the parents of both the bride and the groom can shoulder the expenses for the coming wedding. This may not be economical and likely on the part of the parents, but that is wedding etiquette, and the tradition must live on.





Usually, since the parents are the one covering the wedding and the reception, wedding invitations are written, still in the third person style, but as if the parents are one the inviting the guests.





To illustrate clearly how wedding invitations should be worded in accordance to wedding etiquette guidelines, check on the following examples:





Traditional third-person wedding invitation styles





---when the bride’s parents are the hosts:





Mr and Mrs Robert Murdoch



Request your honorable presence



At the wedding of their one and only daughter



Cheryl Murdoch



to



Mr Joseph Stokes





---when both the bride’s and the groom’s parents are hosting:





Mr and Mrs Robert Murdoch



and



Mr and Mrs Ronnie Stokes



Request your honorable presence



At the wedding of their one and only daughter



Cheryl Murdoch



to



Mr Joseph Stokes





The examples above show clear and formal invitations in the third person style.





So there. If you are planning to get married, pay attention to the invitations you would be distributing. Remember, the wedding invitations should be the first statements you would be releasing as a couple to a number of guests, relatives and friends.



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Basic Wedding Etiquette For Out Of Town Weddings




He proposed and you said yes. After deciding to have an out of town wedding, now comes the most stressful part of the entire engagement: the wedding preparations. As a member of the event, whether as the celebrants, the entourage, family or guests, it is important to know that everyone must observe wedding etiquette for out of town weddings.





For the celebrants:





Gift wedding etiquette for out of town weddings are the same as any church wedding. The couple is not allowed to open the gifts before the actual wedding date. This makes it easier to return them should the event be cancelled because of unforeseen circumstances. And like any proper wedding etiquette for out of town weddings, all gifts must be returned when something like that happens.





It is a formality that if the couple has a preference for monetary gifts, as a wedding etiquette for out of town weddings, it is advised not to print it on the invitation. A spreading it by “word of mouth” is much more appreciated.





Another wedding etiquette for out of town weddings is to get a bridal registry. As this is done even before going out of town, there is no problem with signing up and setting it in your favorite store.





Looking for a hotel where all the guests, family and entourage can stay is a very important wedding etiquette for out of town weddings. Choose those near the wedding location, with good amenities and affordable group rates.





For the bride:





The bride is usually asked to follow wedding traditions. As a wedding etiquette for out of town weddings, this is no exemption. The bride is forbidden to see the groom for 24 hours before the wedding ceremony. This is said to increase the longing and anticipation for the event itself.





The bridesmaids must also be aware of the wedding etiquette for out of town weddings when throwing a bridal shower. The best time to throw the party is a week or three days before the big event. Bridal shower wedding etiquette for out of town weddings can be as innocent as a trip to the spa or as wild as a stop at the local men’s strip club. Giving the bride a bachelorette gift is optional.





For the groom:





Since men are not as concerned about the details as the women, the groom’s wedding etiquette for out of town weddings are kept to a minimum. First, he should be helpful to the wedding coordinator and give them whatever they need to make the out of town wedding a success.





Second, he should handle the men and try to avoid any conflicts that alcohol or other issues may arise before the event. And lastly, the groom’s wedding etiquette for out of town weddings is to show up at the altar on the wedding date.





Stag parties thrown by the groom’s friends can get rowdy. Depending on their budget, parties like this happen in hotels or strip joints. The groom must remember the bachelor party wedding etiquette for out of town weddings. The sacred rule of “look but don’t touch” must be carried out to the letter.





Should anything else happen on that night, only the groom and his friends can say. Another wedding etiquette for out of town weddings for stag parties is secrecy. We can only hope that he comes away from the experience gaining a deeper appreciation and love for you.





For the entourage:





A wedding etiquette for out of town weddings concerning the members of the entourage is to make sure that they have all their gowns, suits and accessories ready. Last minute accidents like a broken heels or ripping dresses are unavoidable so be prepared for anything.





Being on time is another wedding etiquette for out of town weddings. Since the place is unfamiliar to you, make sure you get to the wedding location about five to ten minutes before the ceremony. If you have not rehearsed the entrance, this buys you enough time to look around and get acquainted with the place.





For the guests:





As a wedding etiquette for out of town weddings, you can make it a special event for yourself by turning it into a mini-vacation. But remember that you are there, first and foremost, at the couple’s request. Sharing in their love and celebration is your obligation and you should do everything to help make the day special for them.





One of the best decisions for a couple is to get a wedding coordinator to handle all the preparations for you. The wedding etiquette for out of town weddings does not require that it should be handled by a third-party. But sometimes a fresh perspective and a commanding personality is what a big event like this needs. All the bride should be doing is to relax and be ready for her walk down the aisle.



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Sunday, March 18, 2012

Becoming a Fashionable and Graceful Stepmom on Weddings




We have wedding etiquettes left and right tackling a number of issue related to weddings. But modifications have to be made because times have also changed.





Centuries or decades ago, husbands and wives are stuck to each other for life, in sickness and in health. But nowadays, everything has changed. Most of the parents now are divorced by the time the marriage reaches its tenth year.





That is why modern weddings are further complicated with the emergence of stepmothers. Yes, almost every bride or groom in town has a stepmother.





But the problem is, how are stepmothers dealt with during weddings. From this cue, let us focus on stepmothers.





Stepmothers are usually portrayed as wicked and evil, just in the case of Snow White and Cinderella. But in reality, stepmothers are also human. Most of them are really kind and good-hearted, and some are even better, when it comes to the personality department, than real mothers.





Being a Stepmother





If you are a stepmother, the simplest and most basic ethic you should adopt when your step daughter or step son gets married is to take the back seat.





The principal and most basic issue that hounds stepmothers during step daughter’s or step son’s weddings is the attire. Focus on that, and be amazed at how every issue and dispute is covered by the issue on attire.





Traditionally, during weddings, it is the bride’s mom that decides on everything. The first and basic concern for each wedding is the wedding gown. Biological mothers have all the right to intervene and decide on that.





Take not that in adherence to traditional and appropriate wedding etiquettes, the groom’s mom, the bridesmaids and the maid of honor will have to take the fashion cue from the bride’s mother.





In other words, the bride should stand out in the wedding. Her mom will have to stand out next to her. No one ever will have or be given the chance to steal their thunders.





It is in this part that the stepmother takes the backseat. To be nice and courteous, just adhere and agree to the bride’s mom’ fashion statement. If you are a stepmother, your attire during the wedding should never outdo that of the bride or that of the bride’s mother.





Doing otherwise will divert attention from the two stars of the moment to you. And that will lead to serious encounters and problems. Do not spoil your step daughter’s or step son’s wedding just so you can stick out and flash your unique and sensible fashion statement.





Your attire should only be complimentary, in style and in color, to those of the bride’s, the mom’s, the maid of honor’s and the bridesmaids.





Stepmothers during the wedding





The stepmother’s sacrifice in the attire department does not stop there. Most stepmothers should be canonized as saints especially if they patiently survive step son’s or step daughter’s wedding.





In throwing up receptions, stepmothers’ attires should still be underdog compared to the bride’s and the mom’s. Take note, adhere to this wedding etiquette even if you husband pays for the entire wedding. You will not want to arouse his ex-wife’s temper. For sure.





During the ceremony, the stepmother, with her dress-down attire, does not normally sit beside the bride’s or groom’s father. It is still the biological mother that has the right. Stepmothers are usually seated two to three rows back of the groom’s or bride’s parents.





In several cases, wedding organizers not only advise stepmothers to tone down their attire, they also advise stepmothers to seat where the original wife could not see them. This is to avoid two moms from throwing cake at each other.





If you are a stepmother and you are of the same age, or younger than, as the bride, do not, repeat, do not attend the wedding. You might attract scandals. If you have been the cause of the break up between the bride’s or groom’s mom and husband, the warnings should be utmost and more emphasized to you.





It is hard to be a stepmother, right? But understanding your position and living it out with utmost fashion and grace will help you outshine the occasion, even if you do not need it. You are not on the losing side. Besides, you have your loving husband with you—the proof and trophy for you being the winner!



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